BEST INTERVIEW IN THE WORLD - office Humor

One of the best interviews!! !


Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.


Candidate: I am BOB. I did my Tele Communication engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.


Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard
of this college before!


Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I
was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to
call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said
- "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.



Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.


Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you
know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis
tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and
3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.


Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.


Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try
to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches
really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.


Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.


Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!


Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?


Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job
for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.


Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?


Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
itself was so much of pain!!


Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have
you worked?


Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the
places in Mumbai)


Interviewer: And which languages have you used?


Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.


Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?


Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
language VD!


Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?


Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.


Interviewer: What is your general project experience?


Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
they are in pipeline!


Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?


Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since
joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows.


Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?


Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and
Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call
and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',
'SEI-CMM','quality' ,'versioncontrol ','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!


Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?



Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I
would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and
Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in
2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and
don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?



Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to
MICROSOFT .. :-))

Windows 7 - Microsoft corporation's beautiful and Truly Dedicated Person now in a Tea Stall

NOTE:CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY ARE REAL AND RESEMBLANCE TO ANYONE’S LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE.

This is Kaushal Choudhary. Don't be surprised by hearing his name just because it sounds like the name of some decent guy like us. In fact, he is one of us who was a software engineer by profession.
Kaushal graduated from one of the reputed engineering colleges in 1988 with lots of dreams in his eyes to make it big in software industry. He got selected in Infosys by his hard work as he was among the toppers. In fact, he worked his brains out , day and night, chasing deadlines and all just to make it big. For initial 2 years of his career he worked like nuts just to achieve his dream.
He forgot everything which young guys normally dreams for, bikes,cars,mobiles,girls.... He was only after his dream to climb the corporate ladder.
He used to come early in the office, leave late(Sometimes even slept in the office premises somewhere)...Many times he used to work on weekends. His manager was very impressed and used to appreciate on mails like "you are an asset to the project".

And after 2 years of his career , he did what we guys normally do i.e. SWITCH THE COMPANY.
In fact, he was lot better than 95% of us. He got selected in MICROSOFT. That was the day when he had tears in his eyes.

But he also knew that it was not his destination. His only dream was to be on the top in software.

Winning is an habit , and Kaushal's habit of performing well, late night stays, chasing deadlines, back to back meetings, deliveries and all didn't leave him and one day his manager awarded him with VIP award and gave him PRECIOUS MICROSOFT T-SHIRT(YELLOW COLOUR). And he immediately got attached to that MICROSOFT logo t-shirt and that he started wearing it every FRIDAY in the office.

He made sure that he wears that MICROSOFT t-shirt on weekends whenever he goes out for movies, dinners and all.

And one day, something happened that shaked everybody.... AND who doesn't know that. First news of Banks going bankrupt came and then guess what....

SOFTWARE JOBS ARE NO MORE SECURE....

At this moment, KAUSHAL's manager called him in his cubicle and asked him to Return back his MICROSOFT T-SHIRT.

KAUSHAL asked his PM, BUT WHY?
PM: Because you are fired.
KAUSHAL: Shocked,(As he never imagined)... But Sir, i was doing my job well
PM: I know but company can't afford you and doing cost cutting
KAUSHAL: But sir it was my dream to work in Microsoft
PM: I appreciate
KAUSAL: (Crying) I will never leave MICROSOFT
PM: But you have to
KAUSHAL: But i will not
PM: Ok , do one thing , keep MICROSOFT t-shirt but you have to leave
KAUSHAL: Happily gave his resignation but decided not to work in software anymore and decided to wear MICROSOFT t-shirt everyday of his life till he dies


NOW, KAUSHAL was seen working for a TEA-VENDOR near kalyani nagar,IT cerebrum park,Pune wearing MICROSOFT t-shirt . One caring and compassionate Software professional ,seeing Microsoft employee in this condition offered him TEA and clicked him just to make him happy again in life. It made him happy too. He was still wearing that golden MICROSOFT t-shirt just to teach other software professionals a lesson and to let them know that NOTHING IS PERMANENT IN LIFE. IF I CAN BE FIRED THEN YOU CAN BE:):):)

Moral of this story: Never keep all your eggs in one basket. Always create options in life, otherwise TEA Stalls are waiting for us.

"Oscar A.R.Rahman"-speaking in Tamil at the Stage

(Solved) - how to kill KHATRA.exe

Procedure to remove Khatra.exe virus manually:

1)Go to task manager and select regsvr.exe(if found), gHost.exe , khatra.exe , Xplorer.exe rt click and select end process tree.
press WIN+r or start>RUN
2)type cmd and hit enter
3)GO to the the drive where your OS is installed
4)In the command prompt make sure you get the command line as c:\ or d:\ (this can be achieved by the command "cd .." without quotes)
5)Type attrib -s -h -r khatra.exe
Repeat the same process for the location c:\windows\system32
6)type del khatra.exe
7)Follow the same process for gHost.exe & Xplorer.exe as they are also part of the virus.
To make sure that the virus is out of you pc , check your registry
1)win+R type regedit
2)ctrl+F type in search one by 1 the names of the 3 processes i.e khatra,gHost,Xplorer
3)search the entire registry n go-on deleting the values you find.
Is your registry blocked by viruses?
Do you get the message "registry editing has been disabled by your admin"? then follow the instructions below

Enable Registry Editor
1:Extract the file
2:Right click on the file unhook.inf and select install

Download Registry Editor below:

http://sites.google.com/site/allriseproject/Home/Enableregistry.rar?attredirects=0


Afterward download Malwarebytes Anti-Malware install then update then run program. You may need to reinstall your Anti-Virus program and do a update the run and remove any found virus.

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

BIOGRAPHY OF MAHATMA GANDHI


Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was born on October 2, 1869 in Porbandar, India. He became one of the most respected spiritual and political leaders of the 1900's. GandhiJi helped free the Indian people from British rule through nonviolent resistance, and is honored by Indians as the father of the Indian Nation.

The Indian people called Gandhiji 'Mahatma', meaning Great Soul. At the age of 13 Gandhi married Kasturba, a girl the same age. Their parents arranged the marriage. The Gandhis had four children. Gandhi studied law in London and returned to India in 1891 to practice. In 1893 he took on a one-year contract to do legal work in South Africa.

At the time the British controlled South Africa. When he attempted to claim his rights as a British subject he was abused, and soon saw that all Indians suffered similar treatment. Gandhi stayed in South Africa for 21 years working to secure rights for Indian people.